Momentary Panic

I had an appointment with my midwife on Wednesday.  Nothing major; just a general health check and a listen for the baby’s heartbeat.  Except, she couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat!  I laid there, listening, trying not to panic.  After all, it’s still early – only 14 weeks; losing the baby is still not outside the realm of possibility.  But the eternal seconds dragged on and I watched midwife’s face for clues.  She seemed kind of focused, and then… there it was!  She grinned.  “The little burr!  It’s moving around a lot and wouldn’t stay still long enough for us to hear it!”

Whew.  Still good.  I have never, ever been this worried about a baby, I tell you.  There are a lot of things I really, really like about being 40-something, but this, this is definitely not one of them.

11 Comment

  1. I worried more in my pregnancy with Faith (at age 39.75) than all three of the others combined. Never could tell if it was my age or because I figured my luck on perfectly healthy babies was running out (though I don’t believe in “luck” — you know what I mean). In hind sight, just because the boys were perfectly healthy at birth didn’t mean they didn’t have some health issues later so, moral of he story — don’t worry. I constantly prayed the prayer “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I even have it stitched and hung in the hall outside of Faith’s bedroom door. 😉

    1. A part of it is the internet, I think. We all have such ready access to each others birth stories, the good and the bad, and I know sometimes it blows me away, how lucky we’ve been. Seven healthy children! And yes, are we pushing our luck going for eight? 🙂 There’s no reason in the world to think anything should go wrong, of course. I have a “Level Two” ultrasound coming up here in a few weeks, again due to that “advanced maternal age”, and maybe I’ll breathe a little easier after that. Thank you for the commiseration and encouragement!

  2. When it takes forever (it seems) to find those heartbeats it always causes a bit of panic to me! So glad she found it 🙂

  3. So happy my new niece or nephew is doing well! I hope he/she is easy going when born, and doesn’t cause any more distress! Hugs and kisses!

  4. When I got pregnant with Therese, I was worried because I had recently miscarried. I bought a fetal heart monitor to ease my worry. I can send it to you if you would like it. The kids also enjoyed hearing the baby’s heartbeat.

    1. Thank you VERY much for the offer, Jenny. Most of the time, I’m fine, or busy enough that I don’t have time to think about it, at least, which is almost the same as “fine”. And I keep telling myself that I have absolutely no reason to think anything will go wrong this time. I don’t know. It’s like Barbara says, I guess. I feel like I’m pushing my luck, asking for just one more. 🙂

  5. I’m sorry for the constant worry, though I do (despite having but a measly 2 children) understand it. I will continue to hope for good things for you and that your pregnancy remains uneventful! Love you so much Jennie!

    1. No such thing as a “measly” number of children. Every single one of them is a beautiful, miraculous gift from God. 🙂

      1. Well, let’s just say that you and I are at opposite ends of the bell curve in this family, ok?

  6. Oh honey, I hear ya! Increased prayers for this little one and for your momma’s heart, that you might know PEACE. (I usually didn’t, though, ’til the little one was in my arms! Like you said, when you’re over 40 it is what it is.)

  7. I’m only a few weeks ahead of you pregnancy-wise, but your concerns and experiences to this point have been my experience this time around too!! It was a loooong two minutes of heartbeat hunting until he finally found it at 12 weeks. Whew! For me, having miscarried last year makes this pregnancy even more precious and more miraculous. In just a few more weeks, you’ll feel that babe kicking you (all the time!) and what a joy and continual reassurance that will be!! Keeping you in my prayers, Jennie —

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