How Come I Can’t Have Everything I Want?

Well, hello, there! I’ve been away for a while.  I’ve had some things to take care of, you see.  Things that just couldn’t wait any longer.  Things that needed my personal attention.  Because I am the keeper of the Grand Plan, and I also have the ability to backward plan.  This is, apparently, not an inherited trait.  Anyway, the incubator is running, the calving schedule is known, and information has been acquired for upcoming decisions.  I also ordered a load of gravel, scheduled a consultation for two with an orthodontist, and had my calves polled.  It’s about time.

My children have suddenly discovered how to combine the unit blocks with the train sets to make elevated tracks.
My children have suddenly discovered how to combine the unit blocks with the train sets to make elevated tracks.

I realized on Sunday that I have to get back into the swing of things.  I haven’t been doing much lately, and I guess it was starting to wear on me, because I was getting pretty darned irritated over things that don’t usually irritate me. I figured that meant I needed to get back to being me again. People always say you should take care of yourself first (and then offer the airplane/oxygen mask analogy). I don’t think that’s necessarily reasonable, as the needs of those around you are often more pressing, but you should definitely make a little room for your own self.

I knew these two were made for each other, but they've been together for years without anyone else noticing!
I knew these two were made for each other, but they’ve been together for years without anyone else noticing!

That’s why I decided that Evie would just have to get along without me for a while each morning and told the girls I’d be doing the morning milkings from now on.  Evie is usually pretty calm and quiet in the mornings, and I figured the backup Barn Buddy could transition to backup Baby Bouncer, and I could spend a half hour doing something I really enjoy. So far, so good. Evenings are another story right now, but I can take the mornings, at least.  And I really like my cows.

Now that they know, however, they've had various track configurations meandering around the living room for days.
Now that they know, however, they’ve had various track configurations meandering around the living room for days.

I have a few other ideas in my head that I’m kind of excited about, and I’m looking forward to some small pockets of time here and there so I can move forward with them. Little things I’ve been thinking about forever, but haven’t been brave enough to actually try. What does that say to my children, I ask you? How can I tell them to put themselves out there, when I myself am worried that no one will like what I have to offer?

I sure do appreciate the new upwards building schemes; much more compact than the older editions.
I sure do appreciate the new upwards building schemes; much more compact than the older editions.

So… onward. If mine were traveling plans, it would all be a piece of cake, as Evie is a most excellent traveler. At home, though, she wants to be held. All the time. She’s not quite ready to be her own person just yet. And that’s okay, because I’m not ready for her to be her own person yet, either. I guess I’m in a bit of a pickle. 🙂

Gratuitous baby picture, with her mama this time.  I look old.  Not a word.  :-)
Gratuitous baby picture, with her mama this time. I look old. Not a word. 🙂

Anyway, little Evelyn will be one month old tomorrow. She smiles much more readily, like it isn’t quite so much of an effort anymore. I just look at her and she grins, which makes middle-of-the-night nursings that much more enjoyable. She’s already outgrown those newborn diapers I got her, too, but I don’t mind. It was worth it to have them, even for just those three weeks, because she really was leaking a lot. It’s a little hard to find her decent clothes right now, because everyone has switched to spring and summer clothes, but it snowed today. (I know. I don’t even want to talk about it.) Still too cold for bare arms and legs!

And that is, I think, all I have to say for now. It will probably be another week or two before I write again, because when I have things to do – and, consequently, things to write about – I have no time to write! Another conundrum. 🙂

2 Comment

  1. Sandra Modersohn says:

    🙂 It’s so nice to hear from you again and see all those beautiful pictures and know that you’re well and back to planning! 🙂 Love you all so much. When you get a chance, please give that sweet new darling an extra kiss from me. ♥

  2. Love you holding that baby…you look beautiful!

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